#Fitspiration is stupid. That’s a pretty bold statement, so I’m going to back it up with a “Fitness Meme Hall of Shame.” All images are courtesy of Pinterest, also known as the internet’s tidal wave of abs (and kittens).
Let’s take a walk through the Hall of Shame.
Shameful Image 1
Step 1: Cut off your t-shirts. If you don’t show us your abs, how will you advertise your self-respect?
Step 2: Look at your abs. Remind yourself that respect=abs
Step 3: Remember the definition of respect is “to regard (someone or something) as being worthy of admiration because of good qualities.” Ask yourself, “should abs be the good quality on which my self-respect is predicated?” Any other qualities come to mind? Any? Nah, we’ll stick with abs.
Shameful Image 2
Poor woman. It must be hard to function without a face. I bet she didn’t even value her face before she lost it behind that inspiring text. Good thing she still has her boobs and abs. Phew.
Shameful Image 3
Another woman without a face? Maybe they can start a #fitspiration no face support group. At least that means she can’t eat cupcakes. She wouldn’t want to get huge, well except for her…
Shameful Image 4
Finally, a meme with a woman’s face, and she’s not even showing her abs. Too bad about all that sad fat. Don’t worry, Fat. I’ll keep you company. Go get cupcake and we’ll have a party.
Shameful Image 5
This one made me laugh. I love that she isn’t even working out in the photo. I presume we are meant to infer that her abs tell us how “de-stressed” she is.
Shameful Image 6
Another lost face, but at least this meme isn’t defined by abs. Oh wait, never mind.
All the “strong is the new skinny” memes are transposed over skinny girls. It’s totally inspiring. Now I can valorize muscles AND low body fat. It was just too easy when society told me I only had to be skinny.
Shameful Image 7
Ah, yes, the notorious “no excuses” meme. I applaud her for not only cutting off her face, but for adding her kid into the mix. What a wonderful message. Where can I get that apron? I want to wear it while I don’t cook.
Shameful Image 8
I actually made 3 beautiful things, thank you very much. Did it hurt like hell when you made something beautiful too? We have so much in common. But I’d like to lodge a complaint. Your stupid meme lied to me. My abs look nothing like yours. Oh wait, you’re right. I’ll refer back to memes #7 and #4. Not even at my kid’s birthday party? True, I’m sure he’d rather pose with my abs than see me eat a cupcake.
Shameful Image 9
Get it? It rhymes. So clever.
Shameful Image 10
I completely agree. And I too define progress as pushing a giant tire while wearing my Sunday best. Remind me, what does perfection look like? I only want to see it so I can remember not to strive for it.
Feeling inspired yet?